The Shattering of unbreakable things
by Esmeralda2134
Summary: "I thought I would only love you until the day your heart stopped beating. I thought imprints were unbreakable. I was wrong"-Jacob J/B post BD
1. Something is wrong

**When I saw the new twilight movie, I just felt like writing this. I hope you like it. Post BD, will be written from different positions.**

Jacob´s POV.

It´s only me and her today. Those moments have become rare and I treasure them. The vampires have all gone hunting except for Esme, who has taken Renesmee to her new school to introduce her as her older´s adoptive son´s sister, that has just decided to come live with our family.

It´s the first time Renesmeé can go to school. She stopped aging three years ago, but it took us some time to settle down again. Things have become more complicated ever since I joined the Cullen family( and by that, I don´t just mean getting used to the smell).

First we had to keep moving so no one would notice the inhumanly beautiful child that was maturing too fast and also seemed way to old to be his parent´s kid. Then we had to pay attention to not live anywhere where many vampires passed, as they would never accept me. and it got incredible hard to come up with good excuses why all family members were dating each other. in the end, we decided to additionally get other places to cover up that we were all living together. This time, everyone but Renesmee is going to college.

I frown as I remember the discussion we had about that. I wanted Renesmee to go to high school on her own for the first time. She can never have a normal live, but i at least want her to have a normal high school time and the only one of us that looks young enough to sign in for sophomore year is Edward. High school shouldn´t be the place to hang out with your parents. In the end, I won.

I feel my heart ache as I think of Renesmee, because she´s not around and I feel the urge to check she´s okay, but I feel an even bigger pang of guilt because, as I look at Bella, beautiful, cold Bella,that is twirling a strand of her chestnut hair around her finger, one of the human traits she kept, that I can´t bring myself to wish she was.

Bella catches my stare and sends me a questioning glance. As observing, but obvious at the same time as she is, I expected her to look but not suspect what this triggered. She will never notice what inner conflict I´m fighting whenever she´s around. She will never understand the turmoil of emotions that I desperately try to keep at bay, whenever I think of her. No, Bella wo´t know and it´s better that way. She closed that drawer of her life the moment I imprinted on her daughter. At least that´s what I try to convince myself as I avoid eye contact.

" Jake, what´s up? ", she askes, her voice gentle. She still cares for me, but that hurts the most because I know she wil never care enough.

" Aw, it´s so cute you care!" , I say, trying to distract myself by mocking her. Trying to ban those disturbing thoughts of an elapsed time from my mind.

"Who says I does?",Bella asks cheekily, but she smiles. When she was still human, she would have blushed, but now her face stays pale, reminding me always that she is his and his alone.

Her eyes are onyx today, and with some imagination I can picture them the milky chocolate brown they were. I close my eyes and allow myself to think of her as she was, soft and warm and human.

" Jake,now, honestly, please tell me what´s going on. You´ve been behaving weird lately." Her voice interrupts my stream of thoughts, bringing me back to reality.

" Can´t", I mutter and it´s true. If she ever was to know, my entire world would crumble, falling down and leaving nothing but pieces no one would be able to pick up. It´s hard enough to keep it from Edward, and it was impossible to keep it from Jasper. He actually was the one that confronted me because of it and he was the one that helped me figure it out.

I notice that Bella is still waiting for a response I can´t give her. As she looks at me with disappointed eyes because I won´t trust her ,I know I can´t lie to her either.

" Do you know how it feels to want...something...so badly it hurts, but you know you won´t be able to stand giving up the rest for that one..thing...?" , I ask her.

" I did feel that way before", she replies. Then she wraps her arms around me. Despite our differences, she still feels perfect in my arms.

" Jake?", she reluctantly mumbles. " Yeah?" " Whatever it is, it will get weaker. It will be okay, trust me."

" If I asked you if it will ever truly pass, what would you say?" I whisper, unable to keep the sadness from leaking trough my words.

´Bella lets go of me for an instant, locking eyes with me. " I´d lie".

* * *

I hope you liked it. Plz review and tell me what you think and if I should continue this story.


	2. It s always been you

**I don´t own Twilight**

_If I asked you if it will ever truly pass, what would you say?" I whisper, unable to keep the sadness from leaking trough my words. _

_´Bella lets go of me for an instant, locking eyes with me. " I´d lie"._

**Bella´s P.O.V.**

Jake looks at me, a sad smile spreading across his face. I can see he is in pain. I can feel he has been suffering from something for a long time. I want to help him, but I don´t know what to do. The last time I´ve seen him so broken was the day of my wedding. The perfect day in my life and the worst in his. I see him standing there, his hair short and his eyes darkened by agony. It was my fault. I made him go through all of this. Maybe I can help him work things out this time and make up for what I did back then.

I pull Jacob in for another hug. As he buries his head in my hair, I am reminded of earlier times. I am still surpirsed how comfortable I feel around Jake. it never changed after I became a vampire. He doesn´t smell bad to me, at least a lot better than the rest of the pack. And he is so warm. I can´t help but remember the time we spent together when we weren´t werewolf and vampire and mother and future son-in-law, but Bella and Jacob. Best friends. Lovers?

My human memories have paled like an old photograph, but I still know how I felt back than. I still remember the kiss, outside the tent up in the mountains, before he went to fight the newborns. A warm feeling tingles trough me as I think of it. It was the first time I had gotten a taste of true passion. Of course, I had wanted Edward all the time, but as he had always been like an angel for me,my desire for him had been innocent and dreamy. Jake, on the other hand had been hot and rough and most of all, REAL.

I know that this time has long passed, but as I´m holding him, it feels like he is my Jacob again.

My Jacob...that though forcefully brings me back to reality, as it reminds me of the person that now gets to call him like that, his perfect match, his imprint. Renesmee. My beautiful daughter. Ever since he first met her, he has been happy and content. Until now. I have to figure out what´s going wrong in Jake´s life, also for my daughter´s sake!

" Jake, are things alright with Renesmee?", I ask, afraid he will say no.

" Yes.", he says, but at the same time he shakes his head, violently, as if he´s trying to get rid of a nightmare. " Jake", I carefully place my hand on his arm again. " Please tell me what´s wrong. Despite everything that happened, I´m still your best friend. You know that, right?"

He nods, but lets go of me the same moment. He sits down the kitchen table, burying his head in his hands. " I hate this, Bella", he suddenly whisperers. " I hate that I can´t talk to you about this. I hate that I´m so torn that I feel like I´m being ripped into half. And I hate that sometimes I just wish life was NORMAL and I know I can never have that."

He looks at me and I feel the part of my heart that has always belonged to Jacob sting with thousand hot needles that are his pain. I don´t understand why he can´t talk to me about whatever is wrong. I would never condemn him for whatever it is.

Trying to ensure himself of my support, I tell him: " I will support you, no matter what. I love...I mean I care about you. "

Jacob laughs,but it sounds bitter. " I know, Bella. You told me before. And then you told me you love him more. Do you still remember what I said to you about love?"

" You said you´d love me until my heart stopped beating", I whisper, suddenly terrified of where this conversation is going.

Is he trying to tell me he doesn´t care for me anymore? That he only keeps in touch because he is in love with my daughter? I could understand if he didn´t want to have anything to do with me after what I did to him. Nearly two decades have passed since then, but what is that compared to eternity? Maybe he just noticed he couldn´t spend forever with someone in his life that did this horrible things to him and now that my daughter´s old enough, he might want to take her away. She will follow him when he decides to leave. I don´t want to loose her. And I can´t stand loosing him.

" Jake", I plead. " Please, I will make up for everything I did to you. I´m so sorry and I can understand you never forgave me for that. Just don´t leave and take Renesmee with you. God, I´m a horible person!", I rant, as panic clouds my mind. Tearless sobs shake my entire body as I picture Jake taking my daughter´s hand and dragging her out of the house, then slamming the door in my face.

" What are you talking about? I never even thought about leaving. and don´t ever delude yourself into thinking I don´t care about you .", he says. " Okay.", I reply sheepishly. " I guess that changes the situation."

" Bella", he exclaims deperatly, " You are amazing. And you always had a tendency for overreacting and blaming yourself for everything."

" So I was all wrong?", I ask, relieved he doesn´t hate me. " This has nothing to do with me then?"

" No. This is all about you, Bella, but it´s not your fault. you didn´t do anything wrong."

"What is it then?", I ask reluctantly.

" When I said I wouldn´t love you after Edward changed you, I lied. I never stopped loving you. It´s always been him for you. But for me, it´s always been you."

I stare at him in shock as thousands questions race my mind, but only one make sit to my lips. " When?" " Since when do I love you?" he looks at me incredulously.

" No, I mean, when did you realize you feel that way." " I think I always knew but I only realized it when Jasper confronted me about it a few weeks ago."

" Jasper? I don´t understand what´s going on. What´s about Renesmee.? She´s your imprint!"

" Care to hear a story, Bella?", Jake asks and I want to shake my head like a stubborn little child because I´m afraid that this one story will change my entire life, but as I lock eyes with Jacob, I can´t do anything but nod. " Tell me."

**Plz review!**


	3. The mystery that s love

_" Care to hear a story, Bella?", Jake asks and I want to shake my head like a stubborn little child because I´m afraid that this one story will change my entire life, but as I lock eyes with Jacob, I can´t do anything but nod. " Tell me."_

* * *

**Jacob´s P.O.V**

Th world is spinning, faster and faster and I´m waiting for the moment when it will come to a sudden stop. When Bella will grasp what I just said and do the only thing sensible: To run away and slam the door in my face. When the delicate equilibrium, that is created by the gravity of my suppressed emotions, will break and make us all tumble over the edge, making it impossible to go back.

Then again, Bella never was a sensible person. That´s the only reason I can come up with to explain that she´s still sitting at the table, looking at me with golden, expectant eyes. Still anxious she will leave once I start telling her the story, I get up and lean against the door frame. I don´t really trust myself around her right now. How am I supposed to explain this all to her?

" I don´t really know how to start.", I admit. " It´s kind of hard to explain."

" You could tell me about this confrontation with Jasper...", she suggests. Her voice is gentle, yet guarded. " If that would be okay with you? You don´t have to tell me if you don´t want to." I can´t believe she´s still being considerate about what I feel when she has every right to scream at my face and demand answers, but that´s her. My hearts aches because it reminds me of exactly why I love her so fucking much.

Trying to gather my thoughts, I finally begin to speak.

" To understand what led to that confrontation, we have to go back even further. Do you remember John? You met him once or twice, I believe."

" Of course. He´s Leah´s best friend." , she replies. I can see that she´s trying to figure out what that has to do with us.

" He is more than just her best friend. Only very few people know that he is also her imprint. He technically is her perfect match." " But she dates Alex! Is she having an affair with John?". Then suddenly her expression becomes suspicious. " Technically he is her perfect mach? Not practically as well? "

"´That´s the key point. As you know, Leah was already in love with Alex when she met John. After what Sam did to her all these years ago, it was impossible for her to just break up with Alex and hurt him the way she was hurt. After all, he had been the one to pick up the pieces and make her happy again after four long and lonely years. Still, she was drawn to John in ways you can´t even imagine... Well, maybe you can. Anyway. Leah first tried to stay away from John to protect her relationship, but not even she was strong enough to do that. The pull you feel when you are away from your imprint is too strong to resist. And why should you, if that person is everything you´ll ever need?"

" But you know Leah. She´s the most stubborn person I´ve ever met, even compared to you" . I smile at that. " She refused to accept that there was only one way. She never wanted to imprint in the first place. She was perfectly happy with Alex, but being away from John didn´t work either. So she settled fro the only thing she could think of. A different kind of love, but still nearly as powerful as the one she shared with Alex."

" What is that?", Bella asks, looking puzzled. "Friendship.", I reply. " Of course, that wasn´t easy for them. There was a point where Leah was really depressed because she thought she would fail and hurt Alex. That was where Jasper came in the picture."

" She asked him to quell her passion for John when she was around him?"

" No, what she did was much more difficult. See, it would have been impossible for Jasper to always accompany her. What she wanted was Jasper to analyse her emotions. To tell her what feelings ran deeper, the ones for Alex or the ones for John. He reluctantly agreed to it and while the outcome made her happy, it was a shock for the rest of us."

" Jasper told her that love could be reduced to three main components: intimacy, commitment...and passion. In a romantic relationship, those three should be balanced out. In Friendship, intimacy is really important, while relationships to family members are mostly ruled by commitment. We always considered the relationship with our imprints as the perfect romantic relationship, but it was different for Leah.

Jasper tested her emotions and he figured out that her relationship with Alex was both really intimate and passionate and that she felt committed to him in a normal way. He also discovered that her relationship with John was as intimate as hers with Alex and that she felt as committed as she possibly could. Well, that was to be expected as you literary feel pain when you are away from your imprint for too long. What was surprising was that the passion between John and Leah was present, but weak compared to the passion she harbored for Alex."

"So..she chose Alex?!", Bella, exclaimed.

" Yes. Knowing Leah, she´d go for passion rather than commitment, and by CHOOSING Alex, she did the one thing we never thought was possible. She broke the boundaries of imprinting. She accepted her imprint, not unconditional like the rest of us, but on her own terms."

" Wow, that´s...oh my god.", Bella stutterers in astonishment. Then her face becomes worried. " But, Jake, Leah´s an exception, right? Not the rule?", her voice is shrill with panic and something else I can´t identify.

" I won´t leave Renesmee, if that´s what you´re worried about.", I say, the words coming out more harshly than I intended them to. " I can´t and won´t hurt her. But you of all people should understand how hard it is to know that there is another path. You should understand how hard it is to have to decide, knowing that you will loose someone either way."

" I do", she whisperers as she buries her head in her hands. " I do".

**Plz review if you want me to continue this story!**


	4. omnious passion

_" I won´t leave Renesmee, if that´s what you´re worried about.", I say, the words coming out more harshly than I intended them to. " I can´t and won´t hurt her. But you of all people should understand how hard it is to know that there is another path. You should understand how hard it is to have to decide, knowing that you will loose someone either way."_

_" I do", she whisperers as she buries her head in her hands. " I do"._

* * *

**Bella´s P.O.V.**

Of course I know how it feels. The pain of having to decide between two persons you can´t even compare. But certainly I don´t feel that way anymore? I made my decision when I married Edward and I never regretted it once. " So you never once imagined how your life would be if you had chosen to be with Jake?" , a tiny voice in my head asks. " So you could swear that you´ve never desired anyone besides Edward after your wedding? Could you promise that you never even felt the tiniest bit jealous when you saw Jake kissing your daughter? Never?" " Shut up!", I mumble while I mentally scold myself for talking to myself.

" What did you say?", Jake asks. I jump at the sound of his voice. I was so caught up in my thoughts I nearly forgot he was still there. Waiting for me to say something, anything. As I look at him, I can feel the doubt I locked away so carefully creeping back. The doubt in my decision. Because Jake is standing there, looking all beautiful and sad, and his eyes are full of love. Love for me. I can feel the part of my heart that loves him back swell at the sign.

Unable to sit still any longer, I get up and start pacing around, while I´m trying to process what he just told me. There are still so many questions I want to ask him, but I am afraid of the answers he might give me and even more afraid how I will take them. I feel like I´m walking on thin ice and if I take one wrong step,it will break and I will fall into the cold water and drown in it. I know I should turn around and walk back to the save shore, but curiosity is urging me on.

There is a proverb saying that getting married is like arriving in a safe port, but why doesn´t it say anything about the excitement of being out in the open water?

" So..you said Jasper also tested your emotions?", I ask hesitantly. " Yes, ", Jake replied. He stiffens and I know he´s just as anxious about my next question as I´m about what he´ll answer. Still,I gather all my courage and ask

" What did he say?"

" He said that we feel committed to each other in a way that´s normal for family members ..or best friends. And that our relationship is quite intimate, but that´s also to be expected because we´ve known each other for so long.", Jake states.

" What...what did he say about the passion?", I ask. " Don´t you already know?", Jake whisperers huskily, while moving closer to me. My head snaps up and our eyes lock.

There is a fire burning in his dark eyes, sparking. It´s consuming me, burning the ice I used to seal away my feelings for him. The tension gets unbearable, but we continue to stare into each others eyes. There is nothing tender in his eyes, only rough, hot lust. Lust for me.

I´m not able to resist anymore. In a flash I´m standing directly in front of Jake, pressed up against him so close I can not only hear his heartbeat, but feel it against my chest. He is so strong and he´s pulsing with life. The urge to feel this warmth once again is getting stronger, so I carefully raise my hand and rest it against his cheek.

His eyes are still burning me and then his lips are on mine, his wet,wet tongue is pushing against mine, moving with it and the fire is spreading through my entire body now. His heart rate increases and I feel like it is my own heart beating. He never stops the kissing and I can´t, because he´s making me feel alive again and I never knew how much I missed that until now.

After some time he breaks the kiss, gasping for air. I take a step back, his arms letting go of my body. The hazy cloud in my mind begins to evaporate and the realisation of what we just did immediately douses the fire.

" I guess...that anserws my question", I say, my voice still shaking. Jake grins at that, but his face becomes serious again soon.

While I´m wondering what else I can say, the phone rings.

" Hello?", I ask. "It´s Renesmee!", my daughter answers. " Esme and I just got back from our trip to my new school and I thought you might want to come over to the main house, so when daddy´s back, I can tell everyone about it."

" Sure, honey", I reply, while forcing my voice to sound as normal as possible. " Fabulous", Renesmee squeals. " Oh and tell Jake he´s supposed to come as well. I haven´t seen him all day."

" How do you know he´s here?", I ask. I take a deep breath to keep myself form panicking. There is no way she can know what just happened. " Oh, Alice told me she saw your future disappear", Renesmee responds. " So I figured you are probably hanging out with him. See you in a bit, okay? Love you!" " Love you, too.", I reply soundlessly, but she has already hung up.

I look at Jake, who listened to the entire conversation. His face is scrunched up in agony. I rush over to him. " Jake, are you in pain?", I ask worried. " No, I´m fine. I just fucking cheated on my imprint", he yells. " and the wolf in me is punishing me for it", he adds. " I get now what Sam meant when he said betrayal is nearly impossible.", he laughs bitterly. " Well, Sam never had a reason."

And with that, he leaves, slamming the door on his way out. His smell still lingers in the air and for the first time since I am a vampire, I feel cold. As if the suns has suddenly stopped shining, leaving me in the shadows.


End file.
